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Life is a winding road with many unexpected detours. I never expected to find myself with a de-faced, frozen pig skull but, after a particularly ambitious installment of Will It Sous Vide?, that is exactly what I found myself with.

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Will It Sous Vide?: The Head of a Pig

Hello, and welcome to a very special edition of Will It Sous Vide?, the column where I usually…

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The most obvious next step was to make a stock but, because I’m a bit of a creep, I decided to take things a step further and clean the skull so that I could proudly display it in my creepy little apartment.

There are many different paths you can take when cleaning up some bones. You can leave them out in a field (though they may get stolen by man or beast), toss them in a bin of beetles, or slow cook them. I didn’t think the other tenants in my building would appreciate a pig skull in the shared yard, and I didn’t want to buy a bunch of bugs, so I went with the third option.

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Some sites recommend cleaning bones in boiling water, but that can be a little harsh on your biological treasure, and can lead to fat permeating the bone. I instead opted for a low and slow cooking method, using my—you guessed it—trusty immersion circulator. (If you do not have an immersion circulator, do not fret; a slow cooker will work just as well.)

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After 24 hours at 165℉, I was able to pull away a lot of meat and gristle, including some tasty cheek meat that had escaped my knife during butchering.

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I was also able to get a good bit of the brain out through the back of the skull, using a bottle brush and a lot of running water. This was the only part of the process that I found truly unpleasant, as the cooked brain smelled strongly of iron and death. (I actually gagged, and I rarely gag.)

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A few stubborn bits clung to the skull, however, and the nose cartilage wasn’t quite soft enough to remove, so I put the whole thing back in a brining bag for another overnight stint in the sous-vide bath.

After another 12 hours, I was able to get the last bits of flesh, connective tissue, brain, and cartilage out and off of the skull. Many teeth also escaped, but that is to be expected. I just gathered them up and saved them for the end.

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Next, I soaked the skull in a vat of soapy water—Dawn is your best choice—to degrease it and get it ready for bleaching.

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This resulted in a pretty clean, though quite beige skull.

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Finally it was time for bleaching. You don’t want to use actual bleach, because you will damage your precious bones and undo all of your excellent work. Instead, grab many bottles of hydrogen peroxide (the 3% solution you get at the pharmacy is plenty strong) and draw your bones a nice little bath.

I then covered and left Wilburina in the peroxide bath until she lightened up (this took about six hours), then rinsed her well and let her dry fully. I glued the teeth back in with crazy glue, and basked in the glorious white glow of my newest treasure.

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The whole thing was actually was a much easier process than I was expecting it to be, so easy in fact, that you can follow along at home. If you would like to clean your own bones (skull or otherwise), you need simply follow these easy steps:

  1. Slow cook the bones to remove any extra flesh, gristle, or other soft tissue. You can use a Crock Pot or a sous-vide set up, but you want to aim for a temperature of 165-180℉. Different-sized bones can take different amounts of time to get clean, so check yours every few hours to see how they’re doing.
  2. Scrub, pick and (gently) scrape away loosened meat and tissue, saving any teeth that fall out. If working with a skull, use a bottle brush to help get the brain out, then throw that bottle brush out and really think about how you got to this point.
  3. Soak overnight in a soapy bath, using a degreasing detergent such as Dawn.
  4. Rinse, then soak in a 3% hydrogen peroxide solution for several hours, removing the bones as soon as they have achieved your desired shade of white.
  5. Rinse thoroughly, let dry, and glue any escaped teeth back in. (This only applies if you’re working with a skull, obviously; don’t glue teeth onto a femur. Where did you even get those extra teeth?)
  6. Display your creepy souvenir so that all who enter your abode may gaze upon its unsettling beauty.

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Group with other taxidermy to really set the mood.